I’m sure in my GothCode I say that I’m allergic to children... That’s not really true. I quite like children actually - maybe I’m able to relate to them on their level! The truth is that I’m not sure I’m mature enough to raise a child. I’m far too busy enjoying myself to devote twenty years of my life to raising some horrid brat who will end up just leaving home. If anything, Hilde is even more anti-child than I am.

On the other hand, deep down I think I’d be quite a good father; and it would be nice to leave something behind. A childless old-age might be a little lonely.

The Bishop of Rochester recently berated childless thirty-somethings for being ‘selfish’. They should do their bit for the species and the economy, was roughly his point. I think in his own rather vacuous way he’s raised an interesting issue: because I don’t think I’m selfish. Sure I want some time to enjoy life, but that doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. I think the Bishop has missed the fact that life is very different today from times past.

In former times, people had an extended family to help with child rearing. It wasn’t hard to find a baby-sitter because your sister/brother/cousin lived just down the street, and was happy to help because you’d looked after their little tyke the day before. Today, most people don’t have a support system like that - they have to do all the work themselves and it is far too much.

I think that if ever I have children it will be with the support of such a community. Perhaps not brothers or cousins, but like-minded friends. That’s better for the parents, and better for the children. Hilde said this a while ago, and it makes a lots of sense to me.

On the other hand, if it doesn’t happen then so be it. Hilde and I will be happy, even if the Bishop of Rochester isn’t.